Friends

To forgive, I give my all on returns of nothing at all. I sit in pits of my own making, quiet places escaping relating.

Call me crazy I wish for a call maybe. ‘Nothing major, none necessary, I’m fine really.’

I find comfort in same old but fear growing old with the same boldness, all this in the hopes of not walking through gray walls.
Who could wonder it’s all green texts every month, from friends I knew once. Who could be blunter?
I’d kill for my lost wonder the kind of delinquence, I once had in crystal castles, missing a part of life though the years for it have past.
I see-saw, the next five years remain my most imagined picture, though much brighter it is, I catch myself lighting spliffs to forget that this is it, my only go at shit’s creek.

What is twenty something without something wrong? I know it all too well that ‘hell it’s nothing.’
I’d catch a siren to see your most treasured diamonds.
I ask only second of your time, then forget me, I get it.
See my faults are clear in my eyes, practically begging you to tear down my disguise and see my inner child behind, making worlds in a head that should be pressed to bed covers.
I don’t want to be all the others, brothers that don’t bother and sisters that would rather get pissed every other night.
I prey to a God I don’t believe in, even commit mortal sins all for a chance to grin with a dancing hymn.
For banter without chunder in a bit.

For an answer.
For a ‘hello how you been?’
I often get intimidating, a moniker I’ve never related to.
Mostly, because I’m just as scared as you.
Through and through, I’m beginning to think you don’t think it applies to me too.
The mountains I would move to make you think otherwise.
Techno my only managed relation, is it my fate to walk the city streets alone?
all dressed up with nowhere to go but a café where my order is all they know?
‘You’re a loser bro!’
‘Don’t you know we’ve all moved on.’

I wonder what’s my new favourite song?

🎐

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